I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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