I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
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If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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