You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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