im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
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But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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