was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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