Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
