I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize