I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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