he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize