I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
