I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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