At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize