Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My liver just broke up with me...
After last night, I could never be a politician.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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