never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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