Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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