Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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