I love having hate sex.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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