You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
