fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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