I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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