Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
