I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
