Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
