Soap is not a condiment
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
