So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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