I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
