I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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