Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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