I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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