He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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