Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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