Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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