so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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