i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
