Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
