That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.