im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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