is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
