Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
