I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
