Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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