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I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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