I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
