Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize