It was confusing and full of hummus
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
