I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize