if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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