sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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