Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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