I wish I only lived at night.
its not stalking. its research.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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