What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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