is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
