Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
