Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
