dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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