I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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